I find myself grieving for an actor that I was always aware of but never really . . .well, his acting was quite exceptional, but I would never have said I was a die-hard fan.

Ray Stevenson, known for his roles in Rome, The Punisher, Thor, Divergent and many others (my personal favorite, Crossing Lines), passed away in late May in Italy, only a few days shy of his 59^th birthday. The cause of his death, at the time of publishing this, is still unknown, but his quick illness, which unconfirmed sources say was a heart attack due to anaphylactic shock, saw Ray’s passing on the 21st of May, 2023, shortly after hospitalization.

I don’t understand the reason why I’m so upset by this one, but I can take a guess. Mourning a celebrity’s death is perhaps due to the fact that, no matter the ‘importance’ or wealth or status of a person, death is the great equalizer. It slams home our own mortality and circumstance. Reading about his children, who are the same age as mine, really hit it home, but there is also one other thing I wonder about.

Over the past two years, I have experienced the painful loss of more than eight friends, most of whom succumbed to an inexplicable and ‘sudden illness’, much like Ray Stevenson. Remarkably, all of them were around his age. Among these individuals, there were two who held a special place in my heart and significantly influenced the person I have become. They imparted invaluable lessons about life, vulnerability, and love. It was devastating to witness these two dear friends pass away within a span of eight weeks, eighteen months ago, both falling victim to the same affliction. As time went on, others also bid their final farewells, leading me to a point where I became apprehensive about answering my phone, dreading the news of the next person to depart from my life.

And this is why Ray Stevenson’s death has affected me. Because he was human. He was a father. He was a husband. He was a fellow creative. He was a devoted friend to those who knew him, I have no doubt, and it has served as a reminder to me that our time here is precious.

It’s important to acknowledge our grief, no matter the reason or form it presents in. It’s important to also remind ourselves of Memento Mori—Remember, you will die. It’s not morbid. It’s liberating. It gives us a reason to fulfill our dreams and to hold those we love close. It reminds us to be human.

A celebrity or not, we’re all inter-connected. We must all face that final curtain call, that famous final scene, as Bob Seger once sang, and one day, we’ll all cross that bridge alone. But ultimately, it’s the time that we have here that’s important and what we do with that time. Stevenson’s death hit home because I’m halfway through my life despite being younger than this fellow human, but only if I’m lucky, and we all know how life is oh-so incredibly short.

He has served as my reminder to do better.

Hug your kids. Tell your parents that you love them. Apologize to the asshole who made you angry, even. Live to your fullest potential. Reach for that self-knowledge. Be true to yourself and your beliefs. Stay free.

Make every second count.